Wednesday, 6 January 2016

How To Help Your Child Deal With Your Divorce

Getting a divorce from your partner is never a happy time. It marks the end of a marriage and the breaking up of a family unit. While it might be for all the right reasons, it can be confusing and upsetting for your children. As a parent, it’s your responsibility to help them through their pain and distress and reassure them that everything is going to be ok. Here are a few suggestions to keep in mind to help your children deal with divorce in a positive way.

Be Encouraging

As difficult as it may be, you need to put the feelings you have towards your ex to one side. When speaking to your child about their mother or father, try to be encouraging. Make sure they know that you are happy for them to see their other parent and make sure you smile when they leave. This will put your child at ease and avoid them feeling like they have to choose between you both. When they get home to ask them about what they did and be interested and supportive of their answer.

Make them feel loved

This is highly significant. You don’t want your child to feel responsible for your break up as this can lower their self-esteem and deeply upset them. So shower them with affection and give them attention. You could try out something new together or organise a day out somewhere. It may also be beneficial to sit down with your child with your ex-partner present to explain what is happening. Reinforce that it is not their fault and that they are still your number one priority.

Don’t fight in front of your child

Emotions will be running high and arguments may ensue. But try to avoid arguing in front of your child. This will only distress and frustrate them more. It doesn’t matter if it is about unreliability or financial worries, do it out of their earshot. Try to be as civil as you can for the sake of your children and bite your tongue if you have to.

Get support

When your partner leaves the family home, you will suddenly lose the security and routine you once had. This can cause enormous upheaval in yours and your children’s everyday life. Ask for help from close family and friends who you child is familiar with. Only ask people you who are reliable and dependable and stick to a routine. This will give your child some much-needed security and stability. It will also give you a chance to have a rest and take some of the pressure off your shoulders. Also, contact Family Solicitors, local doctors and your child's teachers. They will all be able to assist you in some way. They may suggest counselling or after school clubs, your child could attend to help you both.

These are just some suggestions that you could try out. You know your child more than anyone else so use this to your advantage. Your top priority should be showing them affection and listening to their questions and concerns.

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